The blog

For some reason, I have always been innately opposed to the “slow life.” When I heard people say “I just want to live a slow, simple life” I would immediately assume they were lazy and/or unaware of their potential to achieve great things.

I wanted the world to know that I had potential, that I was capable of achieving high and great things, and that I was willing to put in the hard work of maintaining a fast-paced life.

All while doing the things necessary to achieve this lifestyle (i.e. make the best grades, be involved in every club, apply for every internship, play every sport, master an instrument, learn a new language, travel abroad, etc.) I have battled the demon of stress. Not just the casual stress of being late to something or studying for a biology exam, but rather the constant, never-ending stress that I am somehow not doing enough, or that somehow, someway, I am destined to fail.

Believing that your identity and worth is rooted in what and how much you accomplish is a recipe for a poison that will slowly, but surely, kill you. I have succumbed to this modern/western mentality that unless I make a notable name for myself, I am nothing.

It is one thing to be capable of achieving multiple things at once, but it is another thing to believe that it is your purpose in life to do so. Your skills, talents, and abilities do not equate your God-given purpose.

I get caught up sometimes wondering what it is exactly I’m supposed to do. I don’t just mean what kind of job I’m supposed to have but the reason God designed this world at all. What was God’s vision for this earth? Does he ever look at subway stations and shake his head? Why did he give us noses?

There are just too many questions that can never really be answered. I do not suppose I could offer an explanation to why things are this way or what ultimately motivated God to create this beautiful, complex world. I have come to a revelation, though, about how I think God wants us to live.

The following is an excerpt from my journal, 11.12.23

It is not my job to “wow” people. It is my purpose to enjoy life, grow closer to the Father, and love people through Christ.

I must learn to be okay living slowly. I must take time to enjoy each season and moment with all its depth, complexity, and fulfillment. I must not rush what’s to come. I might miss what I need to get there.

Burnout was never supposed to be a common struggle. Chronic depression and anxiety were never supposed to be widely accepted as the normal human experience.

There must be something so much more than just getting a degree and finding a career you love. Yes, there is something beyond that. It is about becoming the person you are set to be. It is bringing to alignment the dream version of yourself and God’s design for who you are. The lesser things in life (like degrees, jobs, family and homes) are still just as important. These events, along with the simple, every-day aspects of life, are meant to mold us – to get us to that place of embracing all of who we’re called to be.

I like to imagine that God says to each of us, “Go live! Enjoy this world I made for you! Be plentiful and multiply! Do things that fill your cup, but make sure you bring others along! All of you guys – do this wonderful, magical, adventurous life, and do it together.”

How simple.

It has become a recent goal in my life to live slowly – to give, receive, and experience rather than achieve. I hope this makes sense. What I mean is that I want to experience the joy of people, relationships, new places and things more so than I want to stack up my resume with internships. Working hard and pursing your goals is important, but those things don’t make up who you are.

I have battled for a long time with this internal struggle of living slowly and at God’s pace versus catching up to the life I think others expect of me.

I am learning to detach my identity from what I can do and replace it with who I’m becoming through new life experiences. By doing this, the natural consequence is that I am living a much slower life. I spend less time crossing things off my to-do list and more time relaxing outside. I spend more time communing with new friends and less time worrying about what I might be doing wrong. I spend more time sleeping (thank God) and less time venting to my peers. I spend more time expressing gratitude and less time complaining. My inner-critic and the enemy’s words over me are getting much quieter.

The people I used to judge for wanting the “simple life” really got it right. The same way God gave us a simple truth to believe, a simple faith to follow, and a simple message of love, we are called to live a simple life that is slow. It is only logical that we move at His pace in order to see what He wants us to see.

May you learn to let go of the false identities you may have of yourself. May you let go of the need to perform and find joy in just being. May you learn to live slowly, so that you may experience and enjoy the abundance God has to offer you on this earth. May you enjoy this beautiful world. May you live the simple life.