The blog

Disclaimer: this post is worthy of a large cup of coffee and a comfy spot to Sip&Read.

I absolutely cannot stand being rushed. My family will easily admit that not only do I have terrible time management skills, but whenever anyone rushed me, I would grow extremely frustrated. I’m talking hot flashes, sweating, panicking, turning my room into a mess because I can’t find that one particular shirt, making sure everyone in the house knows that they are impatient and rude and that it is definitely their fault I can’t find my purse.

Absolute diva.

Was I the reason my family was late to nearly every function half the time? Without a doubt. I digress.

If you were to ask me what my biggest pet peeve is, I will quickly respond with “being rushed.” Another thing I think is interesting is that people tend to justify their areas of needed improvement by labeling it a pet peeve. Just because it is something that you just “can’t stand” doesn’t mean you don’t need to learn how to, you know, stand it.

All to say, I’m pretty sure my long, aggravating history of being rushed made it easy for me to answer the question “Are you going to rush in college?” with a hard “No.” Just the name itself irked me.

I’m slightly kidding. The name itself didn’t resurface any running-late-in-the-morning-before-school memories in 3rd grade when my hair just wouldn’t do what it needed to do and Mom was yelling at me to leave and I was crying and anyways not trying to resurface trauma but I had one too many of these kind of mornings. It’s fine it’s fine I’m over it…

No, I was turned off by the idea of Sorority rush because I had never heard anything positive about the process. Even girls I know who joined sororities and are absolutely in love with their chapter have admitted that the rush process, for lack of a better word, sucks.

For those who aren’t aware of how the rush process in 2023 works, you pay a whopping $275 by mid-summer, watch 5-7 minute videos on each chapter, take notes on what you liked and didn’t like about each sorority, then make a 1-2 minute video introducing yourself. All this takes place before you even step foot on campus. Sounds somewhat simple and easy (minus the expensive sign-up fee), and that’s just Round 1.

You move into college. Say goodbye to your parents, go to PNM (Potential New Member) orientation, meet with your Gamma Chi (your rush counselor) and push aside any feelings of homesickness because you gotta go give your best “Hey girl!” for twelve hours the very next day. Oh, you also rank the chapters before you actually meet any of them in person. Worst thing is that they also rank you based off your Instagram and your 1-2 minute video. Sounds super fair, right?

You spend the next 3-4 days waking up at 6:00am, putting on your best dresses, shoes, makeup and hair, and finding out which chapters invited you to their house. This process makes it possible for chapters to drop you, even to the point of leaving you with no houses to visit at all. This is called getting “released,” and it can happen at any point during rush.

It’s incredibly aggressive, brutal, and even heart-breaking. I went into rush with no expectations other than the recurring thought of “I don’t think this is my thing, but I’m going to give it a shot.” And even though I was borderline indifferent to the whole process, I would be lying if I said I did not feel a heavy level of rejection. Not to mention that there are plenty of girls who rushed and wanted nothing more than to be a part of a sorority. The most soul-crushing sight was seeing those girls give their best and then get dropped by their favorite houses. Then they’d cry to their Gamma Chi because they just don’t know “what’s wrong with them.”

I even began asking myself the questions “Am I just not like-able? What are these girls saying about me? What am I doing wrong?”

It’s not a healthy environment ESPECIALLY during your FIRST WEEK OF COLLEGE!

Plus, I absolutely despise small talk. In fact, I even avoid talking to people I know when I see them in public simply because I don’t want to deal with the formulated conversation of “Oh how’s it going? How’s college? What’s your major? Catch ya later! Blah blah blah…”

And guess what? You have to small talk for nearly an entire week straight. You spend 20-30 minutes in a house, you’re strategically paired up with a member of the sorority, and you undergo the usual small talk routine, which serves as the basis of whether that sorority essentially likes you or not. What’s even worse is that at the end of each round, you have to submit your chapter rankings. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF I LIKE THIS SORORITY?!? I talked to one girl for 20 minutes about my major and that I love Chipotle and that I’m just trying to make some friends.

After hell week comes Bid Day (the light at the end of the tunnel!), and you anxiously wait to get your bid card and find out what your “forever home” is.

Girls scream and cry (a mixture of joyful and heartbroken tears), hop on a bus that takes them to their chapter house, and are welcomed at their new sorority.

Girls you’ve never met before run up and hug you and give you t-shirts and make you signs and put glitter on your face and you take 1947329 pictures with girls you’ve literally never seen before in your life and make a cute Instagram post about your “new sisters.”

In all honesty, it’s an incredibly fun and exciting day. You go to a house with a bunch of smiling girls who yell “Welcome home!” You also get free t-shirts. It’s really a blast.

Once you finish taking pictures on the lawn, though, you go inside, change, and get ready for a packed day of Greek Life events.

I’ll save you the details, but if you’ve never partied or don’t plan on “throwing down” in college, then you might want to sit Bid Day out. Some sororities host dry Bid Days, but the rest don’t hold back on giving you the full Greek Life experience.*

In my Bid Day experience, there was never pressure to drink or party at all. My Bid Day buddy was actually an angel who kindly took me back to my dorm early in the evening. I seriously just needed to decompress and recharge my social battery. (Thank you Bid Day buddy!)

And a lot of my friends had a super fun Bid Day. I’m truly happy for them. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m some big “Greek Life hater.” I’m not by any means. I just have noticed some flaws in the system that are worth acknowledging, especially since I’ve witnessed heart-break and serious injury† first-hand.

And I won’t fail to acknowledge that Sororities were originally centered around a strong sense of sisterhood, a fun social calendar, and community service. This is what I, along with many other young women, hoped to get out of Greek Life.

Unfortunately, it’s become more about social status and partying than anything else. Within Greek Life, your sorority becomes part of your identity. The stereotypes and reputation of your sorority become the stereotypes and reputation of you as an individual, even if they aren’t true for you. “Oh, you’re an Oozma Kappa? You must be super weird.” ∆

It’s just such an unfair process that girls unknowingly subject themselves to. I am truly amazed and inspired by the ones who were able to power through it and come out successful. For me and for many others, I barely made it through, and I came out questioning my self-worth.

I’d also like to remind my fellow college students that you are here for school. Each class is worth $200. Don’t waste this privilege of getting smarter and receiving a highly envied education because you think that Greek Life is the most important part of your next four years.

“Anna, why are you writing a blog about your not-so-great rush experience? Most girls had a great week and are happy with their sorority. You are the minority in this situation.”

This is mostly true. I am part of the minority, but that doesn’t mean I am the only one who feels this way. And if you’ve had a similar experience, please know that it is okay, nothing is wrong with you, and you are surely not alone.

I joined a small group at Athens Church and met girls who feel the exact same way that I do. It’s way more common than you think.

College already shakes up your entire world. The last thing you need is someone making you feel like you’re not worthy of having fun and making friends. Everyone has a seat at a table somewhere. That somewhere just isn’t always going to be a sorority, and that is OKAY.

Please understand that your worth and like-ability is not based on what sorority you’re in or if you’re in a sorority at all. Your worth comes from the Father, who has called you “according to His purpose.” And your like-ability comes from how you treat people. Remember, folks, kindness is free.

Also, you’re not lame if your ideal Friday night is getting Chipotle and watching a chick flick with some friends rather than going to a bar or a date night. Do what makes you feel good!

Repeat after me:

I am beautifully designed, and I am worthy of love, friendships, and experiences that fill me.

I hope you have the courage you need to do what brings you peace. Remember, your steps are ordered by the Lord, and “He will not let you stumble.”

May you have a week full of much needed rest and enjoyment. May you feel more settled and at home in this new environment than you did yesterday. May you let go of the things in your life that do not serve you and chase the One who provides everything you need for today.

Also, please text or call me if you have any prayer requests or if you just need someone to talk to! You are KILLING IT!!

678-977-3679

"Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever."
Psalm 23:6 NIV