The blog

One of my favorite movies is About Time.

It’s been a while since I’ve rewatched it, but the premise is that when a young man turns 21 his father informs him that the men in his family are capable of traveling in time.

They can only travel to a time in which they existed, so only back and forth within their own life. The father explains to the son that his father used this ability to make loads of money, and he himself used it to read and re-read as many books as possible. The son – the main character – decides to use this power to find true love.

Cheesy as it may be, the movie ends with the main character ultimately realizing that his priorities weren’t where they needed to be. He decides instead to use this power to relive every single day. So, before going to sleep at night, he would experience everything from that morning until evening once more.

Except this time, when he would relive the day, he was intentional to savor it.

He wouldn’t complain that the barista got his coffee order wrong, or find himself too stressed out and overwhelmed to help his colleague with a case, or grow too tired to listen to his daughter about her day.

He would take more note of the weather and how beautiful it was, how wonderful it was to hear strangers laugh in the street, and how particularly lovely his wife looked that day. He would make an effort to lend a helping hand to someone whom he might have initially overlooked.

Something I think people are prone to do is leave savoring up to the past rather than the present. We tend to savor only when we reminisce memories, which I think is why the expression “the good ol’ days” feels so true.

As this semester nears its end, I realize just how close I am to being done with college, those precious and exciting undergraduate years of living with friends, having loads of free time, taking interesting classes taught by brilliant professors, and the experience of freedom without yet all the burdens of adult responsibilities.

I won’t go as far to agree that college is the best four years of your life (or in my case, three), but I will say that I’ve spent the last year in a constant state of planning and preparation, and I’ve simply forgotten to savor some of the most wonderful years I’ll have.

I recall in my last two years of high school desperately counting down the days until I would graduate and go on to something new. I craved novelty and dreamt of what I wanted my future to look like, but I did so at the expense of truly appreciating what was in front of me.

I often find myself now looking back to my high school years more fondly (and likely more romantically than it ever really was), but wishing I could experience some of those memories again.

I know that although I struggle with burn out and I’m excited for what’s to come after college, I will look back on these years and wish I had spent a bit more time in gratitude. Perhaps I’ll wish I had lived in the moment more, enjoyed my time at football games more, said yes to more social outings, spent less time in my room worrying about my grades or what schools/jobs I’ll go onto next, less time waiting to be perfect before I allow myself to truly enjoy anything and more time thanking God for everything that is in front of me.

Perhaps I grew up dreaming a little too much, and now I am more in love with the idea of experiences rather than the reality of them. You see, I find myself in a constant state of disappointment. The reality of experiences – whether that’s going out with friends, trips, concerts, the nature of being in college itself, etc – never lives up to the idea I have in my head, and for that reason I am always a little bummed out.

This kind of thinking is unproductive, and a solution is necessary if I am going to learn to savor the moment in a way that actually enriches my life.

Because the truth is this: time will always pass, and your life will be more so determined by how you choose to perceive it.

So, if it is true that my life will mainly be interpreted on the basis of how I choose to perceive it, shouldn’t I be more cautious and wary of my thoughts? Shouldn’t I make it a priority to, well, have good priorities in life? I mean, what is it that I truly value? What do I want out of this life?

Such large and existential questions, I know, but at the heart of all of this is really an effort (and a strong encouragement) to get to the end of my life and be content with how I chose to spend my time.

I find it hard to believe I will be content if I choose to spend my time always wishing I was doing something else – living somewhere else, studying something else, working someplace else.

I was so excited to take my classes this fall, and now I can’t wait for them to be over. But I know that once they end, I’ll wish I could go back and relive this semester one more time with a little more savor.

What a dreadful way to live! How could I ever expect to find fulfillment if my mind is always looking for the next thing? How could I experience a purpose-driven life if God has oriented His purpose for me in the present, yet I spend all my time either glorifying the past or planning the future?

I think for me personally, my greatest enemy is perfectionism. I want to perfect everything about my life, from my hair and skin and body to my savings account and grades to my friendships and relationships to my life goals and more. I even go so far as to want to perfect my social interactions, dates, outings with friends, etc.

I’m often weighed down by decisions and outcomes of my past, not because they elicit particular feelings of guilt or shame, but because they don’t fit a perfect narrative of how I think my life should have gone.

I’m fearful of my future, not because I think it will be unsuccessful, but because I’m afraid that the road to success will be messy, complicated, and full of failures (in other words, imperfect).

My need to perfect all things seems to be what ultimately prevents me from living presently and therefore practicing the art of savor.

I keep hearing the Apostle Paul’s words:

¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13 NIV

People often like to quote Philippians 4:13 to encourage athletes and performers and those who attempt to achieve high or demanding goals, but Paul places this statement in the context of contentment. Paul claims to know the secret of being content, and if you’re careful enough to observe how Paul constructs this statement, you’ll see that he believes the secret of contentment is found in full dependency on Christ.

How can Paul do “all things?” –> “Through him.”

Not through what I think my capabilities are, not through any dream I could dream up or plan I could formulate or goal I could set or application I could submit or experience I could have…nothing I attempt to produce without the help of Christ will ever fulfill me. My need for perfection obviously does not come from Christ, and it’s a desire I always try to fulfill on my own, but God has something different in mind for us. He says that full dependency on Him produces contentment.

And contentment opens the door that allows me to savor the moment and find even more gratitude for what is in front of me.

All of that aside, I think what needs to happen for me (and likely for others as well) is not just full dependency on Christ’s strength, but a total re-evaluation of what I want in life.

I’m sure I’ll be 25 sooner than I’d like, and then 30 will creep up, then 50 will come out of nowhere, and before I know it, this current season of my life will be a distant memory. And what will I have left to remember? Will I remember times of stress where I lived in a constant state of depression or anxiety? Will I remember how much time I wasted on trying to perfect myself? Or, will I remember how beautiful the fall weather was on UGA’s campus? Will I remember how sweet my house feels when it’s full of laughter from my roommates? Will I remember how kind that girl at Jittery Joes was to me? Will this time of my life only be remembered as a means to an end, or will I find contentment and savor in any and every circumstance?

Will I let perfectionism and fear of failure and fading motivation be the reason I dread this wonderful season I am in? Will I object to all sources of gratitude in my life, whether big or small?

To reference the movie again, I think it’s About Time (see what I did there?) I start practicing savor now before it’s too late – before too much time has been wasted on the superficial.

One of the reasons I love and appreciate art so much, whether it be music, poetry, literature, films, theater, or dance, is that it always reminds me just how beautiful people are, how remarkably vibrant this world can be, and it brings me back to something I want to be central in my life: appreciation.

Let this blog serve as a reminder that whatever season in life you are in, even if it is far from ideal and you just can’t wait to get out of a rut, ruthlessly search for all the art, beauty, and pockets of gratitude you can. Savor every moment, even if it is only the smile of a stranger at the grocery store. Waste no more time, and be the joyful, kind, light-giving, radiant, confident, and CONTENT person you want to be.

In any and every situation…

In all things….

I’ve quoted this poem before, but it’s my favorite, and it seems fitting for this blog.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Warning, by Jenny Joseph

May you always look for the good in this world, and may you find contentment through Christ Himself. May you recognize that there is no season of life void of beauty and purpose. May you trust that it is safe to be in the present moment, and there is no past event or future decision you must work out. May you find the secret of being content in any and every situation, and may the weight of perfectionism be yours to reject.

May you live in a constant state of savor, gratitude, appreciation, and joy.